Liking & Honesty

Calculating my speed walking backwards on a moving train is easier for me than figuring out whether or not a woman finds me cute.

 

Speed, forward/backward, has formula and velocity. Wherein some would say that the interaction of social turn-taking does itself have formula, but unlike math, socializing often purposely fights against rules.

 

Until you break a rule that someone didn’t tell you they had. Or didn’t realize they had until you broke it.

 

Liking and being liked require boundaries, and I’m all for them. However, often, neurotypical people assume you’ll get the boundary they are driving at without explicitly telling you.

 

Neurotypical persons assume that you are reading their crossed arms and lack of communication as they expressly mean it. To them, crossed arms mean distaste, lack of communication means disinterest.

 

To you, it means, ‘are they cold?’ and, ‘is something wrong with their phone?’

 

We see the behavior and details given us but do not read them as conveying a needed behavioral change on our part.

 

Also, if your words say, “I just want to be friends,” but your body language, unclarified, says, “Oooh, I like what I see,” I’m gonna go with the interpretation that affirms my wishes, as any hopeful human does.

 

Yes, I’m responsible for listening regardless of behavior, words are the arbiter, and I’ve messed up that way in the past.

 

As an Autistic, I ask that people actually mean what they say, and say what they mean, and behave in practice to their words.

 

So flat out, if I ask, “Do you like me?” Be honest. And, then act in accordance with your words.

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